I’m so excited to welcome Bekah Buchterkirchen to Threshold today as part of my series Beyond the Labels, where we’re exploring the parts of our stories that don’t fit neatly into the boxes or labels the world gives us.
Bekah is a writer, speaker, freelancer, and joyful apprentice to the life and teachings of Jesus. Her work reflects a deep heart for encouraging moms in the trenches—helping them seek the Lord daily, even when they worry it’s not enough.
She is the author of Seen in the Unseen: A 4-Week Devotional for Mamas of Littles and shares more through her Substack, The Middle Moments. Bekah is married to her college sweetheart turned pastor and is a smitten mama to two littles.
I’ve been so encouraged by Bekah’s honest, hope-filled words and her gentle reminder that God meets us right where we are. I hope you enjoy her words as much as I do.
The thought creeps in again, uninvited: “A good mom wouldn’t still be doing the dishes. She’d be playing with her kids.”
She wouldn’t struggle to figure out what to make for dinner or forget when she last drew a bath for her youngest. Surely, she wouldn’t watch the clock, counting down the minutes to nap time just to check a few things off her growing to-do list.
Subtly, quietly, these thoughts settle not just into her mind, but deeply within her sense of self—contaminating her identity, causing her to question whether she is even worthy of the title “mom” at all. These thoughts don’t just live in her mind; they burrow deep, chipping away at her confidence.
And yet, when I see other moms, I don’t measure them by these impossible standards. I’m not nearly as harsh with them as I am with myself.
There are so many incredible mothers who inspire me regularly.
I see the working moms boldly pursuing their God-given callings, modeling a life of service while still showing up for their families.
I see the moms who have pressed pause on their careers to be present at home in the earliest years pouring themselves into everyday moments.
I see the ones working in the quiet, crafting beauty in the in-between hours, creating something that brings joy to others.
They serve in their churches without seeking applause. They cook extra meals for new parents. They whisper bedtime prayers even after an exhausting day. They fold tiny clothes while soothing another tantrum—over a banana being peeled the wrong way, again.
When a friend vulnerably shares with me how she lost her temper with her child, wanted to take a little longer in the bathroom just for a moment of peace, or missed who she used to be, never does the thought cross my mind that she is a bad mom. Far from it! I throw my arms around her, embracing her for putting into words what I, too, experience regularly—quietly, and often unsure whether I’m alone in these thoughts.
The labels we carry of “good mom” vs. “bad mom” are just that—a simple shortcut we take when we don’t have time for the full story—convenient, but never quite complete.
These labels are half-truths at best, twisting reality while ignoring the fuller, more beautiful story being told. I’m tired of letting that whispered lie—that I’m not a good mom—take up space in my mind. When I look in my children’s eyes, I’m met with love, safety, confidence, and acceptance. A way of belonging more powerful than words can portray. Their whole selves reflect the traits I pray I am instilling over a lifetime of shared experiences, bedtime prayers, and sticky hands being held in adoration of the fact that time is still on our side.
It’s been said before that it’s not about the reaction, but more so the repair when it comes to the dynamic between a parent and child. I love that and cling to it in moments when I must ask forgiveness yet again from my kid after not showing up in the way I wanted to.
It’s the perpetual reminder of the gift of grace we’ve been freely given by living a life devoted to walking in the ways of Jesus.
Within motherhood, we will fail. We will see the worst aspects of ourselves on full display sometimes. But we will also experience the love of Christ tangibly, felt through the thousand “I love you, Mama”s and warm hugs we receive over the course of a childhood.
Maybe it was never about being a good or bad mom at all. Maybe it was always about something deeper—about faithfully pointing our children toward Jesus, about modeling a life of love and grace, about walking this road together as a family on mission.
Deuteronomy 6:4–9 says it best:
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Faith isn’t something we compartmentalize—it’s something that shapes every moment, every interaction, every space within our home.
When the doubt creeps in again, whispering that we’re not enough, may we cling to what is true: It was never about being enough ourselves. It was always about pointing them to the One who is.
Thank you again, Bekah, for sharing your words with us here! I hope her story reminds you that the idea of a “good mom” is often a lie we quietly carry — and that real motherhood is found not in perfection, but in presence, grace, and faithfully pointing our children to Jesus.
This is part of my ongoing series Beyond the Labels, where I’m sharing stories from women who are learning to embrace the fullness of who God has created them to be. Drop a comment to thank Bekah for her contribution!
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